Acoustically Arched

On the Outside Looking In

This was a project I did for an architectural photography elective I took in the fall of 2020, my last semester of undergrad. We had to do three projects: one more editorial, one documentary, and one artistic. For my art in architectural photography, I decided to dive into my personal experience of studying both architecture and music. Feeling like I was On the Outside Looking In.

On the Outside Looking In

A window where there are figures dancing along the wall on the inside and a girl taking the photograph reflected on the outside.
A window where there is a patterned wall, a table and chair, and plant on the inside and a girl taking the photo reflected on the outside.
A tall window showing cafe booths on the inside and a girl taking the photo reflected on the outside.
A window with a lecture hall visible on the inside and a girl taking the photograph reflected on the outside.
A window where there is an empty hallway on the inside, and a girl taking the photograph reflected on the outside.

There’s something empowering about being a double major.

I was so busy. I was seemingly successfully balancing two of the hardest majors.

I woke up early, went to the music building to practice euphonium until my music classes, went to architecture classes, then band rehearsals, and finally spent the night in studio. Go to sleep and repeat. Not to mention the football and basketball games, concerts, recitals, and guest lectures. (And you know, the whole having friends and being social thing.)

But also something so tiring, so isolating.

I was alone. My music friends didn’t understand my architecture. And honestly, a lot of my architecture friends were band kids, but chose not to pursue it at the college level.

I was physically running back and forth across campus every day. How could I even dedicate enough time to two of the most time consuming majors when I spent more time outside of either building?

However, this time, the in-between, allowed me to think.

The time to think the bad thoughts. Maybe everyone was right. What am I gonna do with this? Will studying architecture and music ever work? Why am I physically, mentally, and emotionally exerting myself when it’s making me miserable?

But then I see my reflection.

I am HERE. This life, this path, I chose for a reason.

I used to get so excited, carrying around my orange highlighter just waiting for those music and architecture connections. For a professor to say the magic word that sparks one thought after another, connecting music and architecture in my brain. Have I lost that feeling of wonder?

And then I look beyond to the peace (or more often the chaos) inside.

I may not have felt like I fit in, in either building. But I went in anyway, and began to pave the path for others.

I should’ve spent that time allowing my mind to wander instead of doubting my visions. I love to be alone. To be different. So why was I fighting it, just because no one can see the world the way I see it?

“If I could paint the world, the way I want to see the world, then that’s the world that I would want to be in.”

Paint the World, Molly Tillerman from Central Park

To Conclude:

Over five years later, looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve had regrets. I’ve experienced feelings of failure in both. From being lost in music theory to dropping an architecture studio one semester.

But I’ve also had periods of winning, like playing my first solo or when I got to present one of my architecture projects to members of the community.

There is not one “correct” path for architecture. Some people go into it knowing they want to be licensed right away. Others, take the scenic route, or end up doing something else entirely. While I’m still at the beginning of my career journey, I definitely don’t have a background like everyone else.

So in the end, no matter where architecture and music take me, I’ll always remember the time I was On the Outside Looking In.